WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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