Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
