So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
