I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
