Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
