id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have already put on my inside pants.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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