I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
