Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize