WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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