2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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