Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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