Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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