I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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