I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
