So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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