she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize