Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
