just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
