Small penises have feelings too.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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