i just google imaged poop.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
