mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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