What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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