Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
