It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
how does that bad decision feel?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
