if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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