Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
