I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize