ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
