I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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