I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
