so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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