Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
