i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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