I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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