damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
