wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
