umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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