shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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