There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My balls are so social today.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
