just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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