She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize