somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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