too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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