I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
