Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize