i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was born a porn star she said
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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