i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
