Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
