It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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