My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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