if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
