i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
