Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
