I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
