You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
