Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
