Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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