At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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