There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
