i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
