I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
