yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize