I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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