Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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